Live To Fight Another Day
by LornaCat
Summary: Erica has been captured. With the world blissed there are very few people who can help her. Fortunately those few are the best. Besides, Hobbes owes her more than one life. It's time for him to start saving.   Erica/Hobbes
1. Rescue

**Summary: **Erica has been captured. With the world blissed there are very few people who can help her. Fortunately those few are the best. Besides, Hobbes owes her more than one life. It's time for him to start saving.

**Pairing:** Erica/Hobbes

**Spoilers: **nothing specific but knowing what occurs in the finale of season two sure helps. I seem to be ignoring Project Ares in my post-series stories. I have too much lingering angst and not enough information to believe in a corporate savior.

**Rated T **for reader Torture of the angst-causing kind.

_This is not a song fic by any means but I'm listening to "Pictures" by Eyes of Eden right now and it fits too ridiculously well not to mention. Consider it the soundtrack._

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><p><strong>Live To Fight Another Day<strong>

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><p>He sat in darkness, forcing his body to remain still even as his emotions began to stir, deeper and more intense with every passing moment. They'd taken over, his emotions, and that was why he'd come back in the first place, wasn't it? She was somewhere inside the mothership and he had to get her out. He couldn't think of a scenario in which Anna wouldn't be torturing her for information, or torturing her just to feel the thrill of the power she held over Erica and the rest of the filthy human race. Erica had been her greatest ally, and then Erica had revealed herself to be Anna's greatest foe. There was no way Anna wouldn't be torturing her.<p>

Hobbes felt anger overtaking him at the thought. He felt that urge to hit something, to punch a hole right through the metal walls that surrounded him. It was not an urge he felt often. There wasn't much he cared about enough to cause that reaction. He was hidden on a Visitor transport, waiting for a signal from Joshua. Joshua told him to stay put until his signal, and Hobbes would do so, because he knew saving her was more important, so much more important, than satisfying the childish need to release his anger.

What he wanted was to rush out of the transport, find a target and just start shooting. He wanted to mow them all down one by one, for invading their planet, for blackmailing him and using his only weakness to bring him to his knees, for lying to everyone and making them believe. He wanted to destroy them for showing up at all in the first place, for taking over his life and ruining it.

_For hurting her._

What he was going to do instead was wait. He would wait until Joshua gave the signal, because he knew that's how he would get to her and get her out safely.

_It's the least you could do._

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><p>In Anna's private chamber Erica laid sprawled on the floor. None of her bones were broken and she wondered how that was possible. So much pain. Anna was able to produce so much pain in her without actually damaging anything but her spirit. Erica's spirit remained intact but it was badly bruised, and she felt her limit approaching. She felt the end approaching. She'd been there for days and still hadn't cracked. There was nothing to tell Anna, and Anna knew somewhere in her cold, reptilian heart that Erica wasn't going to tell her anything anyway. They both knew the score. Yet still the pain went on because, despite her desire to remain the cold, reptilian bitch she thought she was, Anna was pissed that Erica had successfully fooled her for so long. Anna was angry and Erica was the perfect punching bag. The perfect example.<p>

Erica understood Anna's anger; she felt the same anger toward Anna, and she knew she would do the same were the roles reversed. So she felt the end for herself approaching, since Anna's anger would never end.

Erica was sprawled on the floor, like an animal exhausted. She was dimly aware of her surroundings, dimly aware of the pain. She was starting to go numb. It was tempting to give up, it really was. It wasn't just Anna's pain she was dealing with.

_Numb is better than pain. I'm done with the pain._

Anna left her there, thinking her mother ship was more secure than ever. She walked toward the guarded door. Her tail whipped and her high heels clicked on the faux tile floors of her ship, and she stopped next to the guard as if to give him an order. She opened her mouth, then had a second thought. She glanced at Erica's body, curled and limp on the floor of her one-woman war room, and decided she needed no order to guard the prisoner. The prisoner was no flight risk. The prisoner was barely more than a sack of meat and bones.

_That's all they are, all they ever were. Pathetic creatures._

So Anna left, taking the guard with her.

Anna had a problem with underestimating humans.

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><p><em>"Go. Go now."<em>

Hobbes lifted his head from meditation at the sound of Joshua's voice. There was nothing else now but the mission_. _Hobbes heard nothing, saw nothing, felt nothing other than success. There was only him and Erica and the obstacles between them. And maybe Joshua's voice if he took a wrong turn.

_"Left. Down the hallway. The door will open when you approach it, I've got eyes on the location."_

"Good man." Hobbes muttered on the way. Clean in, clean out, no pauses or fuck-ups or changes in the plan. This was happening and it was happening now. They would leave together. They would escape.

No more Joshua. The door was opening and Hobbes didn't hesitate. Not until he saw her.

She was next to the windows. Her eyes were open but she wasn't really looking at anything. Just letting the light in, so she would know if they went out. Her lights.

Her body was sprawled on the floor, as if she'd been knocked out and thrown there and hadn't bothered moving since waking up. One hand rested lightly on her stomach, the other palm up on the floor. She showed no outward signs of pain. Just exhaustion and abuse.

Otherwise the room was empty. Completely empty, no furniture or anything. Just a white floor and Erica.

Erica stared up into the light and she felt tired. Her eyes began to slip closed when she heard the door opening. Her eyes opened, when she thought Anna was returning.

_So soon? I'm almost done dying here, just give me another minute._

She was too tired to look. She let her eyes close again, and the door was shutting. A few seconds later she felt someone next to her, someone warm. Someone that wasn't Anna.

"Erica."

His voice was too familiar. She thought maybe she was dreaming. He'd disappeared and she'd been angry. How embarrassing for her to dream of this. She hoped the Visitors weren't watching.

Then she felt hands on her body. One brushed the hair from her forehead, the other touched her hand.

"Erica." he said again.

_Too vivid. _

With great effort Erica told her eyes to open. Merely summoning the command was difficult, the act even more so. Her will was almost gone, but this presence made her curious for one last look.

"Hey." said Hobbes, softly, as he watched Erica try. Just to try, that was enough to show she was still with him. "I'm getting you out of here." he said. "Can you move?"

Erica blinked and looked up at him. His face was too familiar. She'd seen it too closely before. They'd been so close.

"Can you move?" he asked again, not letting her off the hook. "Or do I have to move you?"

He wasn't going to ask again. There was no time. He just didn't know how badly she was hurt.

Erica blinked and breathed, and that was progress. Her lips parted, only slightly, and she studied his face. Wasn't he gone? Never coming back? Abandoned them? Deserter?

"Last chance." said Hobbes. "Walk or be carried."

"You came back." she said. The sound of her voice surprised him. It felt sudden, after thinking she might never speak to him again. It wasn't strong, but it wasn't as weak as it could be either. It sounded shockingly normal, considering where she was and what she looked like. Hobbes looked into Erica's eyes, relieved to see life there at all.

"Yeah, I did." he said.

Erica stared. He couldn't guess what she was feeling, or what she was thinking before she said it.

"And you shaved." said Erica. She blinked again. He'd lost count of how many times, like her eyes could count the moments they were together.

Hobbes moved his body into a position to pick her up off the floor. He lifted her upper body with his hands and set one arm beneath her back. Her head lolled. He moved carefully but with a steady confidence, knowing he'd paused too long already, as he cradled her upper body and slipped his other arm under her knees. He braced himself and picked her up in one smooth motion, holding her head against his shoulder and the rest of her body to his abdomen. Her long legs dangled from the knee down, swaying a bit as he moved toward the door.

"I like you better with a beard." she said, her voice cracking only because her throat was dry.

The door opened and he carried her out, leaving the same way he came in.

_"The way is clear."_ said Joshua's voice in his ear, just to reassure him.

"I'm so tired." said Erica. Her voice was so soft. She let her forehead rest where Hobbes' shoulder met his chest. She couldn't feel her own weight, but she figured she was pretty out of it and that she shouldn't worry about such things, not when she was being saved. Being saved was a good thing, right?

Hobbes got them to the transport, and Joshua unlocked the controls from a remote location. For a medical officer he sure had some power. Before taking command of the vehicle, Hobbes dropped slowly to his knees and laid Erica out on the cold floor. She should have been used to it but the flat surface reminded her of the pain. Hobbes could see her face contort against her will - her will, which returned with greater strength the more she realized she was free of the torture - and he apologized immediately.

"It'll take us a few minutes to get to the surface." he said. He laid her flat on her back and placed her hands on her stomach so she could feel herself and comfort herself and know that her body was still there. "And after that we'll have to take a car."

Erica tried to look up at him but she was so, so tired. Hobbes brushed her hair from her face again. He didn't mean to but his hand caressed her face. Lovingly. And it helped.

"I'm gonna get you back to a big, comfy bed." he told her. "And you'll sleep for days."

Erica's eyes closed, not from exhaustion but from sudden emotion. She'd just realized she was safe again. That she was going to live.

"No one's gonna touch you." said Hobbes. He watched her swallow, and he knew they had to get out of there five minutes ago. "No one's gonna touch you." he said again, and he realized he was mesmerized by her face. He left her suddenly on the floor, and then he flew them home. It wasn't so tough. The flight was mostly automated. The Visitors were only as advanced as their own technology, just like the humans. They weren't so smart.

For three days Erica laid in a bed that was not her own, but it felt heavenly compared to where she'd been staying. Hobbes checked in on her now and then. It was Lisa who kept constant watch, bringing Erica food and water, laying with her while she slept and reporting to Hobbes with every new development no matter how small.

Hobbes peeked into the bedroom on the third day, to find Erica fast asleep with Lisa watching her. Erica was on her back, head tipped to the side, deep into a dream she wouldn't remember upon waking. Lisa was curled up on her side, knees bent, head resting on her arm, eyes wide open and gazing at the near-fallen leader of the Fifth Column movement. She breathed in time with Erica and if she noticed Hobbes at the door, she didn't reveal it until minutes later. Lisa turned her head to look at him, and her expression remained neutral. Then Lisa sat up, and she did it slowly so as not to disturb Erica's sleep.

"She was asking for you." said Lisa, her voice hushed.

Hobbes stared at her with a hard to read expression. He looked upset. Insulted even, perhaps on Erica's behalf.

"I think you should lay with her." Lisa suggested softly.

"You think I should lay with her." Hobbes repeated, as if he didn't believe it.

Lisa nodded. "She wants the company. She needs to know we're here. She told me that."

Hobbes hesitated in the doorway, choking on his emotional reaction.

"There aren't many of us left." said Lisa. _Us_, she said. Lisa counted herself as one of the filthy humans now, the miserable souls who knew what the Visitors were there for and weren't happy to let it happen.

"Nobody knows she's alive," said Lisa, whispering now. "Except the two of us, and Joshua." Lisa's expression became less submissive, more stern. "She needs to know you're here."

_A little Erica in training._ thought Hobbes. _Alright, then. If she needs it._

He stepped inside and shrugged his jacket off. Erica stirred, and he slowed, hesitating before he set his jacket down on the arm chair next to the bed. Erica turned onto her side, turning her back to Hobbes and giving him the perfect opportunity to spoon her. Lisa laid back down, and rested her gaze on Erica's face again. Just watching her.

Hobbes left his shoes on the floor and laid down on the bed behind Erica. He'd been here before. Not with Lisa in the bed, but this was different anyway. Erica was their patient, a ward for a princess and a mercenary. Hobbes put his arm over her waist and waited for her to shrug him off. She didn't. She laid there, not limp and lifeless like she'd been in Anna's white room, but comfortable and sleeping, resting instead of just surviving. Hobbes pulled his arm tighter around her, pulling himself closer to her body, and he pressed his face into her hair. She'd bathed, or had been bathed by Lisa. She smelled so good. She smelled clean.

Erica's arm moved to hold his, and she snuggled into him. Either she was sleepily aware of what was happening or it was a reflex, a subconscious reaction based on her intense desire for comfort. Hobbes didn't mind either way, as long as she was comforted.

Eventually, Lisa left the room. She slipped away. Hobbes felt the bed move but he didn't dare move his head to look. His eyes were closed, he could feel her breathing, and he was getting sleepy too.

Maybe when Erica woke up she would remember to hate him.

Or maybe not.

He'd hold her while he had the chance.


	2. Return

For the first three days after Erica's return, Lisa was her constant companion. Hobbes was in and out - though he was mostly out. He seemed paranoid that Erica would wake up and become lucid while he was there, so he stayed away. On the fourth day, Lisa convinced Hobbes to stay. That afternoon he brought lunch home for the two of them, with a third serving they saved for Erica, for the next time she woke up.

Erica was on the second floor of the safe house. The Fifth Column members that remained unaffected by Anna's bliss had acquired the house for Lisa, when she'd escaped from the mother ship. Lisa stayed there, and had kept a room for Erica the whole time, not just hoping for but expecting her prompt return.

On that fourth night, Erica woke up - she did not just open her eyes, but became alert and thoughtful - and she stayed in bed so she could think. She heard voices downstairs. She listened to them, allowing herself to just eavesdrop and be absent from the conversation. Kyle and Lisa, somewhere downstairs. In spite of everything that had happened, and everything that might happen in the future, it was a comfort to know they were there.

After the sun went down Erica decided to rejoin the land of the living, and to investigate whatever food they were eating. Erica hadn't been eating much the last few days, and she could smell it all the way into the bedroom. Now she was starving. She pushed the blankets off of her body and sat up. Even though she paced herself, she got lightheaded and her vision went dark for a few moments. She closed her eyes and let it pass. She was weak. She just had to get used to walking around again. Once she recovered from her brief spell, Erica looked down at herself, to see what she was wearing. She recognized the clothes, but she didn't remember putting them on. They were the shorts she normally wore to sleep and an old t-shirt, for one of Tyler's high school sports teams, a real collector's item now that he was gone. She touched the fabric over her stomach, squeezing it in her fist. She surprised herself by not crying. She'd shed too many tears already, it seemed. Maybe Anna had broken her after all.

Erica found more of her clothes in the closet there in the bedroom, and she changed into a comfortable pair of long pants and a different t-shirt, something neutral without memories attached to it. She walked through the bedroom's open door, her socked feet silent on the carpet. It was a nice house. She wondered who it really belonged to. To the left, at the end of the hallway, was the bathroom. Erica remembered that room. There had been a lot of vomiting the second night. And a bath? Had Lisa given her a bath? Yes, there were memories of that too. To the right was the staircase. It would lead downstairs. Back to civilization, or something that vaguely resembled it.

Erica started down, and then stopped on the landing when she saw the two of them in the living room. They didn't notice her at first, so Erica leaned her hip against the banister and watched them. They were seated next to each other on the couch. Hobbes was showing Lisa how to use chopsticks, and she was finally getting the hang of it.

"There you go." said Hobbes, in his encouraging voice. "A natural."

Lisa smiled and readjusted the chopsticks so they'd be more comfortable in her hand. Then Lisa, sensing another presence in the room, looked up at the stairs. Her smile disappeared. After four days of wondering if Erica would ever be the same again, there was some well deserved concern over her sudden appearance. "Erica." said Lisa, surprised to see her up and about. She noticed right away that Erica had dressed herself in different clothing. Hobbes turned immediately, hearing her name. An awkward silence followed. All three of them had been assumed dead at some point in the recent past. They were all supposed to be dead. Yet here they were, all together. All surviving.

"It smells good down here." Erica said to break the silence. It was a relief for all of them. She sounded normal when she said things like that.

"It's a good sign when cheap Chinese smells good." said Hobbes. "Means you're really hungry."

He smirked up at her and it felt like old times. Good times. Erica smiled back very softly, as if she wasn't quite used to doing that yet. Smiling. She walked slowly down the stairs, two sets of eyes on her the entire time. She joined them in the living room, accepting a plate and a clean fork from Lisa after she'd taken a seat in the armchair next to the couch.

"We weren't sure what you would want." said Lisa, the embarrassed hostess, apologizing for the selections she'd made.

"It's fine." said Erica. She was still so very tired, but she was able to fix Lisa with a warm and reassuring gaze. It felt natural to mother her. Lisa seemed more and more easily overwhelmed by her emotions, and she'd been taking such good care of Erica. "It all looks good." Erica added, proving her statement by serving herself most of what was left in front of her. She could feel them watching her as she ate. Though Hobbes was more subtle about it, he could tell she noticed.

"It's good to see you out of bed." he said, as a way to explain himself.

"Well..." said Erica, when she was in between bites. "I woke up and neither of you were there. I got worried."

Hobbes just looked at her after that. He could tell she was messing with them but Lisa seemed stricken. When Erica saw Lisa's expression, she bowed her head and sighed out a chuckle through her nose.

"I was joking," she said for Lisa's benefit. "It didn't come out right."

"It came out fine." Hobbes reassured her. His expression was soft when he glanced at Lisa. "She's got to learn your sarcasm somehow."

Lisa smiled sheepishly. They all kept eating, until the food was gone.

"Do you want tea?" Lisa asked Erica. "I did learn how to make tea." she added, giving Hobbes the tiniest of smirks. Hobbes raised his eyebrows as if he were impressed, and there was Erica's softer than soft smile again. They couldn't ask for more. It was already more than they could have hoped for.

"I'd love some." Erica said to Lisa. The youngest went off to the kitchen, leaving Erica and Hobbes alone. They stared at nothing, and they said nothing, for a few minutes after Lisa left. Then Erica looked at Hobbes. He could feel her watching him, so he looked up at her. They looked at each other, like they'd done many times before, knowing things they didn't want to know, and yet still not knowing enough. She seemed to know a little more this time, though. Something had changed in her since the last time he'd seen her, before her time on the mother ship. Before the torture. The furrow in her brow was gone, the constant worry buried somewhere deeper. She was calm now, for some reason. Controlled. She'd found peace. Hobbes found that disconcerting, because he had not found any peace in their time apart.

"What's on your mind?" he asked her. As if she'd ever be able to explain it all. All he meant was _Why are you staring at me? Why aren't you in my face, telling me I should be dead instead of Tyler, that I should be dead instead of Ryan, instead of Cohn? _

She wasn't in his face. She didn't have the drive or the energy to yell at anyone. She didn't have any reason to either. It wouldn't get them anywhere but further away from each other, and she wanted the people that cared about her - no matter how they showed it - to be close to her now.

"I didn't really believe it until now." said Erica. "That you came back. I still thought there was a chance I was dreaming."

"Erica-"

"I know." she interrupted him gently.

"What do you know?" Hobbes asked earnestly, honestly curious.

"I know what you did." she said, and it was a shot in his gut no matter how soft and pleasant her voice was to his ears. "I know why you left." she went on. "Anna wanted to hurt me in every way possible, and she knew I had a weak spot when it came to betrayal. So she told me everything. She thought it would be torture to hear what you did."

Erica stopped. She watched Hobbes until he opened his mouth to, she assumed, apologize. She was right in that assumption, but she couldn't hear it. Not now and not ever.

"Kyle." she said quietly, before he could begin. "I had to forgive you to survive up there."

Erica glanced at Lisa, who was now standing next to the couch, frozen with a mug of tea in each hand and shame in her eyes.

"I had to forgive all of you." Erica said, and then she looked back at Hobbes. "Please don't take that away from me." she said to both of them.

She was their leader. In the way she spoke to them and the way that they followed without question, she was their leader. So they took her words at face value and made a vow inside themselves to never to bring up the subject of their betrayals ever again.

"I'll take that tea now." said Erica, and she looked up at Lisa with friendship in her eyes.

They drank the tea, and Erica asked them to get her caught up on what she needed to know. Lisa was hesitant; she was not just overwhelmed by her own emotions but obsessed with the idea that Erica was handling hers so easily. With Hobbes' help, Lisa complied. Erica needed to know where they all stood now that she'd returned. In the grand scheme of things she hadn't been gone for very long, but considering her place in what would soon be seen as a full on rebel movement instead of a terrorist group, it felt like she'd missed the end of an era. Their long talk ended when Lisa excused herself. In all the time she'd spent watching over Erica, she hadn't been getting much sleep herself.

"Get some rest." Erica suggested gently. "We'll talk more in the morning."

Lisa nodded and smiled, but she didn't go just yet. She seemed to hesitate just a moment before she stepped forward and leaned down to give Erica a hug. Erica smiled softly, very softly, as she returned Lisa's embrace from her seat.

"It's good to have you back." said Lisa as they parted.

"It's good to have you back too." said Erica. The big smile that transformed Lisa's face reminded Erica how lucky she was to have survived, just to have seen a warm smile like Lisa's again. Lisa glanced at Hobbes as she left the room, her smile for him more polite but no less friendly. The corners of his mouth turned up for her. He had feelings of friendship for Lisa, especially after the last few days he'd spent coming in and out of the house, discussing Erica's condition, but it was hard for him to smile after Erica's command to swallow his guilt and let her be at peace with their past.

Erica watched Lisa climb the stairs. It made her think about the big, empty bed in her room, and how comfortable it would be for her still aching body.

"I can't believe I'm still tired." Erica remarked. "I could go back to sleep already."

"I'll have to start calling you Rip Van Winkle." Hobbes told her.

Erica chuckled at that one. "That's good." she said. "Good codename."

...And then what? What was he supposed to say to her now? Erica picked at a loose thread on the arm of the chair she was sitting in. Again, Hobbes noticed the lack of worry in her expression. She wasn't plotting or planning her next offensive, or brooding over the latest failure to make a strong move. She was just _thinking._ Slowly, Erica lifted her eyes to look at Hobbes, and she let him know exactly what she was thinking.

"Will you sleep in my bed tonight?"

Straight-forward, honest, and somehow innocent. How could she make that sound innocent? Hobbes had to assume she just wanted some company, another body to keep her warm and make her feel protected as she slept. Or maybe they would talk. Would they talk? Only if Hobbes asked the right questions. He had so many.

"Yeah." said Hobbes, studying her with knit brow and far more emotion than he'd ever imagined having after meeting her the first time. She wasn't the delusional, gun-happy lady cop anymore. She hadn't been for quite some time. She was _Erica, _and the answer to her question would never be no.

Erica stared at her loose thread for a few seconds. Then she leaned forward, and stood up. "Come upstairs when you're ready." she said as she walked past him and toward the stairs. "I'll be awake."


	3. Release

_For Kaylost and Elisa. Thanks for reading. This third chapter makes this story complete._

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><p>Hobbes sat on the couch, alone in the living room, for five more minutes before he felt ready. He had to prepare himself for two possibilities, neither of which he was sure about.<p>

He ascended the stairs, and listened for any sign of waking from either of the women in the house. He peeked into Lisa's room; she was fast asleep. He moved further down the hall and, true to her word, Erica was awake. She was in bed, under the covers, lying on her side and staring at the wall as she waited. She turned her head when Hobbes entered the room. He stepped inside and glanced at the closet. There were no men's clothes in there. He heard Erica inhale and sigh, and he looked at her. Looking into her eyes, he knew it would be okay to shed some of his clothing before climbing into bed with her.

Erica watched him pull his shirt over his head. He had a few days worth of facial hair now. He was growing his beard back. His pants came off, and then he was walking toward the bed. She turned over as he approached, facing the half of the bed she'd left empty for him. She helped lift the covers on that side, and he lifted the sheet and blanket the rest of the way so he could slip in beside her. She got close to him immediately, and he had no choice but to put his arm over her waist. Hobbes looked into Erica's eyes, and she put her arm around his neck, and she stroked the hair on the top and the back of his head. She pressed her lips together, wetting them with her tongue as she stared at his mouth. Hesitantly, Hobbes let his hand wander from her waist, lower, toward her hip. She wasn't wearing pants or shorts. He touched the elastic band of her underwear, the top one, and then the one that circled her thigh.

He didn't know what to say. He didn't know what she wanted to hear. He only knew what she _didn't_ want to hear; empty apologies, excuses, pity and regret. When he looked into her eyes, that's all he had to give. He didn't know where he stood aside from that.

God, she was warm though. Her tank top was stretched tight across her breasts, she was pressed against him and he could swear he felt her heart beat in his own chest. She leaned forward and kissed him, softly at first. Then she tightened her arm around his neck and kissed him again, closing her fingers around a fistful of his hair. As if by reflex his hand slipped lower and found the full roundness of her ass. He squeezed hard. Her mouth opened, and his mouth opened, they pressed their tongues together and Erica moaned from a place so deep inside of her it was primal.

She'd experienced so much pain. She'd wished for numbness, and she had achieved numbness at some point. Now she just wanted to feel pleasure. She just wanted to _feel._

Her body writhed against his, and they kissed so deeply it felt like they would devour each other. She wrapped her leg around his waist, and he squeezed her ass harder. She made it clear she wanted friction between her legs, to rub her crotch against any part of his body, the harder the better. Erica's mouth slid away from his, and she looked down as she released his hair and slipped her hand down between their bodies to touch herself. Her entire body was completely alive with arousal, and when her hand reached its destination it only got more intense. Another primal sound issued from her throat, all the way up from the spot to which her hand connected. Hobbes watched her with a look on his face like he couldn't believe how attracted he was to her, or how fucking hot it was when they were together.

Erica Evans and Kyle Hobbes: two hot, sweating human beings that could say _fuck_ the new world order by doing it the old fashioned way and letting nothing come between them and reaching the heights of a pleasure that Anna could never know. She couldn't love like they did. She couldn't fuck like they did. She didn't want to and that was her loss. She could never take away their desire.

What good was Hobbes then, if not for Erica's pleasure? He stopped squeezing her ass and his hand joined hers between her legs. She moaned aloud when he touched her, and she allowed him to replace her hand with his. She placed her arm around his neck again, squeezing his hair in her fist again. He rubbed her from front to back and back to front, over and over. Her body moved up and down, riding his hand, and she knew she could ride his hand until she came.

The way she moved, she shoved her breasts into his face each time she rocked up and down. He moaned, a subtle sound amid their heavy breathing. Erica tilted her head down, and Hobbes tilted his head up, and their mouths fused in a wet kiss so one could swallow all the sounds that the other was making. His hand worked her until he couldn't bear the feeling of her underwear on his skin any longer. She was incredibly soft, and he could feel how wet she was through the fabric. He slipped his hand down the front of her underwear. She reacted with her entire body, tearing her lips away and hugging his head to her chest when she cried out. They rolled a bit, Hobbes more on his back now than his side. His other arm snaked around her waist, and he kissed the skin at the top of her chest, tonguing it softly as his concentration was centered elsewhere on her body. His fingers swam, and he spread it everywhere, maintaining the range of the up and down motion of his hand.

Erica felt a familiar twitch inside. She'd abandoned all shame the first time they'd done it on her kitchen floor, and after that it didn't matter anymore. She was holding on to him and she was humping his hand because that's what would make her come. He recognized the signs, the motion of her hips and her short, gasping cries, and he concentrated his energy on one spot, quickening the pace so she could get the release she needed.

It had been so long since he'd felt her this way, held tight in his arms as she came, and he would never admit how much he'd ached for that feeling all the time they'd been apart. For a few precious seconds Erica forgot to keep her voice down, and the sound she made caused him to ache in other places. He moaned into her cleavage and moved his hand faster, and Erica all but wept because her vibrator never did that for her. It never expressed how happy it was just to feel and hear her orgasm, nor did it intensify without being told to do so. She kept going back to Kyle because he was good at what he did, all of it.

And this was always the way it happened. They agreed silently that they were not going to do it, and then they did it anyway.

Erica was taken over by the spasms inside her body, and she rocked against him, moving her hips in time with her own orgasm. Even when the spasms subsided it still felt good. His hand still felt good. Her cries faded to gentle moans, which faded to the sighs of heavy breathing as her hips slowed and Hobbes' hand slowed and she loosened her tight grip on his body. When she fully came to rest he slipped his hand out of her underwear and took hold of her hip. She was burying her face in his shoulder and he had that inexplicable urge to hold her. They both worked so hard to convince themselves and each other that she didn't need to be held, but they'd be damned if it didn't feel good to cuddle after an orgasm like that.

She stayed there with her face against his neck until her breathing was normal and her heartrate slowed down. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry now. They hadn't said a word. Those soft yeah's and yes's didn't count. It wasn't exactly the best way to start a conversation.

"I take it you're feeling better."

Hearing his sarcasm, Erica felt a bit of joy grow in her heart. That joy was silenced and stabbed to death by her guilt before she could even chuckle. She was only better in that she was free. She was alive. They'd just proven that together.

Erica tilted her head down, so that her forehead was resting on his shoulder and she could see down to where their hands had just been. Her leg was still draped over his waist. She could see he was hard. That made her feel nice. With her hand she reached for him. And he stopped her.

With the hand he had on her hip, Hobbes took her by the wrist and placed her hand on his chest instead. He held her hand there gently, flat against his skin. She stared at their hands, at his chest, and she contemplated what his action meant. His guilt was still greater than hers. She found that astonishing.

She let them lie there in silence, until his hard-on disappeared, and her body recovered from the excitement. It was back to the dull ache, with just the echo of the pleasure she'd just experienced.

"Can I tell you something?" Erica asked him quietly. Her eyes remained downcast, but her tone was light.

"Anything." he said.

_Is that really true?_ They both wondered.

"It's about the time I spent on the mother ship." she explained. "With Anna."

Hobbes was silent. She could feel his heartbeat, and she felt it beat harder. The little detail she shared, it scared him. He wasn't sure he was ready to hear about that time on the mother ship, but there was no way he would stop her from telling him. If that was his punishment, to hear all about the torture he'd hadn't been around to prevent, then so be it.

Except Erica wasn't telling him to punish him. She just needed him to understand where her head was at and why. It became clear that he was not going to reply until she was finished telling him, but it still took her a while to start. It had taken her three days just to wake up after the ordeal. Talking about it would not be easy.

"In the worst of it," Erica began, somewhere near the end. "When Anna thought I was at my weakest...and it really felt that way, that I was too weak to continue. She kept me alive. She kept me alive, and she kept me alert. There were no moments of confusion or disorientation. I knew exactly where I was, and I knew exactly what had happened. She kept reminding me. She showed me videos. There was a video of Tyler. Of what that other Lisa did. To Tyler."

Hobbes gathered her hand in his, wrapping his fingers around hers, drawing her hand away from his chest so she wouldn't feel the pounding of his heart. There was anger in his heartbeat. He inhaled deeply and let the breath out very slowly, trying to keep it all inside. The rage was building and he wanted to choke the life out of Anna. He wanted to mash her body to a bloody pulp with his bare hands.

Those same hands held tight to Erica, as if she would disappear if he let her go. _Had I been there_, he kept thinking, and would keep thinking for a long time to come. _Had I been there to prevent this. To protect you-_

"It wasn't the video." Erica said. Her brow furrowed, and she tried to gather all the storming thoughts into a coherent story. "It wasn't. She-"

Erica shifted uncomfortably. She didn't want to stammer. She didn't want to recall this part, but she had to, to make her point. "She gave me labor pains." she said, forcing the words out.

Hobbes felt his stomach turn. His hand squeezed hers, tighter than before. Erica closed her eyes and let the memories in. The full, excruciating detail caused her stomach to turn as well. It brought pain to the center of her heart, and she felt the urge to run. She knew there was nowhere to run. It was just an illusion, the desire to go back in time, and time moved only in a forward direction. Nothing could be taken back; only paid for. That was the whole point.

"She kept reminding me of what it was like to have him...and that I'd never be able to hold him again. She thought it would break me."

Erica shook her head. Hobbes watched her eyes open. Her eyes were wet now, and she looked everywhere, suddenly overcome. She took a deep breath, and she held on.

"It did." she confessed. "In a way it did break me."

As she spoke, Hobbes lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her palm, that familiar broken feeling refreshed in him just hearing her say it. He knew from personal experience that nothing would take that pain away.

_I will never forgive myself for allowing it to happen_.

First Joe, then Tyler.

_I will blame no one but myself._

Hobbes held her palm to his lips. So much for numb. After kissing her palm he set it against his cheek and dared to look into her eyes. She was watching their hands again. Her thumb caressed his cheek, and she was scratched by the rough stubble. She liked how it felt. It was real. Hobbes was real. He was there with her, feeling with her, feeling all of it.

The wave crashed, subsided and settled around them. They'd survived the force of it. They were still standing.

"Anna tried to break me with her videos." Erica began again, and this time there'd be no stopping her. "She tried to break me with my own memories. She tried to overwhelm me with the pain of the world but all she did was remind me. I stand with every other human being on this planet. And she left me without a weakness, and without any fear.

"I'm not afraid of being found out. She knows who I am, she knows what I stand for. I'm not afraid of losing anything, because I have nothing left to lose but my own life, and that life is worth nothing unless I'm giving it over completely to this cause. I'll never hold Tyler again. I know that. The only comfort I can find in that is that I'll never have to lose him again either. My greatest fear was realized. The fear that I wouldn't be able to protect him. He's gone, like so many others are gone, but I'm still here. I still care. I care what happens here. I care about you. I care about Lisa. I will do everything I can to protect her, not because she's like a child to me, but because she is next in line to lead her race and she will tell them all to leave our planet if we can get her there."

Erica took a few breaths. She was getting worked up now. Her voice remained steady and calm but Hobbes could feel the energy just below the surface. He felt it even more when she directed her gaze toward his eyes.

"I'm not afraid to die, but I don't want to be numb. I want to feel. I want _you _to feel. Anna thinks she can strip us of our emotions, or use them against us as if she's immune. I say fuck Anna. Fuck her plans, fuck her beliefs and fuck everything she stands for. I'm still here, my column is still standing and I'm going to take her down if it's the last thing I do."

This was the first time since his return that Hobbes really saw Erica, the woman he knew. He'd come back from his exile to rescue her and he'd found a near-empty shell in her place, sprawled on the floor of an alien ship. He'd held her as she healed, but this was the first time since deciding to come back that he'd seen the fire in her eyes. After losing her child, a part of her may have been dead forever but the fighter in her was still alive. It made him want to fight. It made him believe.

"I want you to stay here and fight with me." said Erica. "Fight for Lisa. For the future."

"I will." said Hobbes. "I'd die for you. I'd die for either of you. You know that."

A part of Erica's heart grew back just hearing the words. She had her best lieutenant back and _damn_, it felt good to hear those words from his mouth. Erica had to be sure, however. He could put his hand down her pants, he could bring her to orgasm, but could he keep a promise?

"What will keep you from running this time?" she asked him point-blank.

"I only left because I thought you'd want me to." he said. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Good." said Erica, and she looked him right in the eye. "Because if you leave me again I'll find you and I'll kill you myself."

Hobbes' mouth came open, and he smiled. He believed it, he really did. She knew all his secrets now. He wasn't going anywhere. The hand on his cheek, the one that stroked the rough beginnings of a thick beard so softly, so thoughtfully - it had its strength back. She held him with that hand, she held him with her gaze and she held him there with her conviction and her strength and the knowledge - not just the belief, but the knowledge - that they could win this fight if they could just hold it together, train their army and live long enough to see a victory.

In the meantime they were going to exercise their freedom. Hobbes could see a smile forming on Erica's lips, some form of happiness beginning to shine through the gray skies of a serious facial expression. They would never be happy again, not like the average person is happy. Not after losing the people that they lost so violently, with no time to grieve. There were other kinds of happiness for people like them. Other kinds of freedom.

Erica shifted, laying down on her back and turning her head so she could still gaze at his face. She breathed in and out. From the corner of his eye he watched her breasts rise and fall. Her hair was mussed from being in bed, and the way her head rested against the pillow, the way her body sunk comfortably into the soft mattress, she looked like a queen herself. It was her eyes, though. It was always her eyes.

_Kyle_, she seemed to say with just that look. _God gave you that body. So, for god's sake, use it._

So he moved closer, and he pulled her underwear down her legs, and she pulled her tank top up over her head. They got naked, and Erica's thighs accomodated Kyle's hips, and for a little while they were free. He ran his hand up and down the side of her body, and as long as he touched her Erica knew there was an outline to her form. She knew she was there, she was alive and she was real. And when she reached up to touch the muscles in his shoulders, his chest and his abs, she thought about how he used his body to make her feel better, and how he would use it to kill in order to protect her. Hobbes was real too.

Without making a conscience decision to do so, Erica threw her body into pleasing him back. It exhausted her still recovering body to do it, but it was a good kind of exhaustion. It was exercise. He went deep, and they both tensed all their muscles and it felt fantastic. When they were done they both slept in the same bed and had the strange feeling that things were going to be all right from that point forward. They could both die fighting, and that would be all right.

It was possible to survive, too. That would be better.


End file.
